Solicitors

You know there's a sign outside my neighborhood that says, "no flyers or soliciting," I don't live in one of those snooty, fancy gated communities where all the neighbors are freeloading and spying on each other and every time someone new moves in, there's a whole line of people giving that person baked goods.  I'd hate to live in one of those communities. The one problem that I have with my community is that there's a lot of soliciting, (which by the way is against the community's rules as stated by the sign outside the entrance to the community, which is nice because I don't have to hang a frightening, "no solicitors" sign outside my door like I'm some sort of antisocial jackass who hates his neighbors.)  Now I don't have Jahovah's witnesses, I have the people sticking advertisements in every nook and cranny on the property.

They'll put it in the flag of the mailbox (because obviously that's what the mailbox flag is for,) they'll put it on my doorknob, and I'm pretty sure they want to shove some up my ass so that I can see 'em when I take a shit.  It's like they want me to worship and bow down to them and say, “every time I go to my mailbox, it's not to get my mail, it's to look at your advertisements!”

And that's weird too because if I were to look at all of their advertisements and they affected me, they'd probably backfire in the following way: if I saw an ad for a cheap LCD projector, I probably would buy an LCD projector (again, if the adverts had affected me, which they probably wouldn't.)  However, I probably wouldn't buy that cheap LCD projector, because I wouldn't want play into their game; I'd probably say to myself, "wow, LCD projectors are getting cheap, let me see what the best deal is."  And then I would check online to see what features I wanted in an LCD projector and find the cheapest projector for my needs, and that projector would probably not end up being the same projector that was in the ad.

Now to be fair I once bought a product from a banner ad and I was satisfied with the product, but the thing about banner ads is that I don't think banner ads should be distracting like they are today.  I use an ad-blocking ad-on on my browser and it filters out all of the ad except for the ones that comply with a set of reasonable rules that they thought up and I find those rules to be reasonable.

The Drug “Plague”

The Drug “Plague”

OK, now this rant is mainly about the way that drugs are talked about, not the politics of it all. Now whenever recreational drugs are talked about by nanny state advocates, they always say that when there's a lot of drug dealing going on, there's a "drug plague.”  No matter how much drug dealing is going on, it's not a plague.  To be fair, according to the dictionary, it can be called a plague, but when it (the word, "Plague") used in said context, the word is being used subjectively in manner that makes it sound like it's being used objectively.  Objectively speaking, a plague is when there's a disease going around. A plague is when bugs are swarming around infecting people. A plague is NOT when there are drugs around.

I'm not saying that it's good for there to be drugs around, but you could be in a big store room filled with millions of syringes of black tar heroin (or any drug for that manor,) I guarantee you that you're not gonna get addicted unless you actually inject your self.  This is because the drugs are not gonna sprout wings and swarm like mosquitoes; that would be fucking weird.

Drug dealers are not magical sorcerers who enchant drug packets so that they animate and force you to use them so that you get hooked. They also don't fire the drugs at you in darts so that you become addicted; they're just people who ask you if you want drugs and if you say yes, they'll sell it to you, and then after you become addicted, they might sell it to you from more money.  I'm not saying they're good, I'm not saying they're bad, I'm not saying they're honest, I'm not saying they're dishonest; the point is that they are not gonna force you to take the drugs.

The worse thing they're gonna do is nag you to try it like a telemarketer.  And when you say no to the drug dealers, you should be polite, because it they're working in the black market, then you have no guarantee that they have any remorse for killing you for being rude to them.  You should just say, "no thinks."  I was offered dope once, and I just said, "no thanks," and that was it, the guy didn't nag me, I didn't have to be rude to him (nor would I want to) and I didn't end up doing drugs.

Turning the dial up to 11

Disclaimet: This blog entry is a joke and I am OK with anyone who likes this meme.

OK this a bad meme from 1984, we didn't really have the internet, but we sure had memes in the 80s and believe me, I got a bad one for you. This one comes from the 1984 movie, “This is Spinal Tap,” now I'm not gonna call the characters by the their actual names because I couldn't care less the joke is that Moron is telling Smart Person that his amplifier is louder because it goes to 11. Then Smart Person responds to his idiotic statement by saying, “Why don't you make 10 louder?” That's a very excellent question to which Moron replies, “these go up to 11.” It's too bad Moron's intelligence doesn't even go up to 1, but that's the joke and I'm not talking about the movie, I'm talking about the fact that a whole bunch of stupid morons embraced his statements as being the smartest thing ever.

OK, in case you are one of those stupid morons, let me explain something to you that you will probably not understand, but it's worth a try, (well in this case it's more like a shot in the dark.) The dial on your amplifier does not specify any units of measurement. The numbers do convey information, but they only say that the highest number is the highest volume and the lowest number is the lowest volume, so if you want your speaker to be louder and go to 11, I recommend that you buy a louder speaker and put a sticker on top of the real dial that goes from 0 to 11. Then your speaker will go to 11, but I'll still hate you, because you're a moron.

Now, I think I get the appeal of this meme, I understand why you want to embrace it, you want to embrace something dumb so that you don't feel smart because you think that being smart is for nerds. But there's a fine line between not being dumb, and being a nerd, and guess what morons? You crossed it!

By now some of you are saying that after the movie, several amplifiers were made that actually do go up to 11 because of some technicality in the wiring, but is that what you really want? You really hate nerds that much, even the ones that make all of your awesome audio equipment that you're gonna make them go through more complicated work, just so that you can have 2-6 extra lines printed on a plastic cover and have it mean something. So congratulations! now your speaker goes to 11 of something, but you don't know or care what it is because you're too stupid to realize that —the movie scene that the concept came from— is making fun of the concept, itself.

So let's wrap it up shall we! If you think that, “turn the speakers up to 11” is a good meme, you're stupid, because you're actually trying to be like a stupid character. So why not even be less nerdy by being more stupid! Why don't you just dress up like a clown and and write the word, “moron on your forehead,” because god forbid that you would show any sign of intelligence otherwise you'd be a nerd!

Seatbelts

Ok, First of all let me aay that I think that seatbelts are a great car safety feature that I have no probel with wearing.  The problem that I have with seatbelts is the change in buckle design that is the mos annoying thing ever.

Here's the lowdown, when I say the buckle, I mean the plastic thing that the seatbelt plugs into.  Now the buckle is the problem because it used to be that the buckle went over your belt so that, if there was a gigantic person sitting to the left amd right of you, you didn't have to awkwardly stand up to buckle the seatbelt like some sort of circus act, and thereby increase the risk of pulling the seatbelt so far that it locks up strapping you tighter and tighter to the seat like some sort of sick torture device that causes a suffocation risk.

Incidentally that's also a bullshit feature that should be supplemented with a release button so that if the seatbelt locks up while the car is moving, you should be able to disengage it 'til the next time it's pulled all the way out in case an actual car crash happens.

The annoying DJ I had to deal with last night

So I was at my aunt's wedding last night and her daughter and her daughter's wife put it together.  Now I'm telling you this part because it's important to the story.

So it starts out fine, the dance floor becomes open and cliché party music plays.  Music from the 70s, music that everyone's already heard a million times and they still love them even though nowadays they feel like they're 200 years old.  Now that's fine with me even though the music isn't my cup of tea, but the booze is helping me not give a fuck.  At that time the DJ says, "I'm taking your song requests."  Now I'll admit that the first song that I requested (Awoken by Wooden Toaster) was not appropriate since it had the lyric, "I don't know those eyes I see in the blood-stained chrome.")  So I understood that the DJ said she couldn't play that and I'm glad she caught my mistake to request that since I was thinking with my ass when I requested that.  But then I asked her if she could play, "The Fox by Ylvis."  Now if the DJ had said that she couldn't play that song, I would understand that, just keep that in mind.

And she said yes.  So one hour later, I'm still hearing the same cliché party music and I'm thinking, "What the fuck?  better go talk to the DJ, because I'm getting my song played come hell or high water."  And for those of you who are wondering, no I do not think the world revolves around me, but I don't think it revolves around everyone but me. So I come up to the DJ, thinking that maybe she forgot my song request, I just walk up to the booth and I say to her, "excuse me, did you get my song request?"  And she says, "yeah, but I just gotta play the brides' (it was a lesbian wedding) songs first before I play the requests."  So I understood, that, but then another fucking hour goes by of cliché music plays, and I'm thinking, "ok something's up, the DJ would not have made a big announcement saying that she is taking requests if she didn't have time to do that."  So I go to the DJ booth again.

This time I say to the DJ, "do you have my song?" and the DJ says, "Yes, but I have to ask the brides' first."  At this point I am seething and thoughts are going through my mind of "accidentally" spilling water on the audio equipment, but I didn't want to get ass-raped in prison, so I wasn't gonna do that.  So I just patiently waited while this cunt DJ blew me over, this old hag who probably didn't even know where she was.  She probably had alzheimer's and confusedly walked into the DJ booth and thought she worked there.  So I tell my sister about what's going on and she has the decency to inform me that the DJ isn't playing any requests from anyone.  And at that point, I am fucking seething and every time I look over there at the DJ booth, the face of the devil is on my face and I'm thinking, "You fucking bitch, just play the god-damn song already!  Stop being retarded!"  So my sister tells my cousin, who tells the bitch DJ and she finally plays the fucking song.  And then I literally yell, "Finally!  I only had to wait two and a half hours!" (yes I know it was three and a half hours, but I was slightly confused.)

So right after that she plays one more song, that's right, the first requested song, was the second to last song that was played; the god-damn motherfucking bitch!  So right after the last song I go up to her and give her the business because no one is gonna fucking brush me off like my song requests because just cause the world doesn't revolve around me, doesn't me it revolves around everyone but me.  And I walk up to the booth with the look of the devil on my face yet again and look her right in the eye and say, "Hello, I would like to personally thank you for making me jump through hoops to get my song played, I really appreciate that."  And I just stared at her for a while because I was expecting her to see the rage on my fucking face and just give me a god-damn apology for her god-damn, motherfucking bullshit, but no, she just looks at me with the same look that was giving her, like I'm the fucking jackass, when not only was she deceptively unwilling to play my request, but everyone else's requests and not to mention the requests for the songs that my dad wrote that I wanted to promote that weren't even my thing!

Now during my rage before she played the song, I was considering e-mailing the venue instead of getting in this woman's face, but I wanted this god-damn bitch to start regretting what she did right after she did it.  And you know what?  It felt pretty god-damn motherfucking good!  And do you know why?!  It's because I did not take shit!  I hate taking shit and if you try and give me shit I'll give you shit!

Song Soundalikes 02 (Kyoryuger and the semi-late 70s/early 80s) part 2

So in this post we will be comparing parts of the outro of Kyoryuger, Minna Atsumare! Kyoryuger by Hideaki Takkatorori https://youtu.be/ut7GUKKOxEk?t=4s, with parts of Mony Mony by Billy Idol (1981) https://youtu.be/IAmgTNATJkk?t=7s, which is a cover,  the original version is by Tommy James & The Shondells (1968) https://youtu.be/pkMgs3lFwkQ?t=9s.

Tell me what you think.  Do they sound alike?

Song Soundalikes 01 (Kyoryuger and the semi-late 70s/early 80s) part 1

So this is a first in a series that I might continue, but might not.  Basically, I put the YouTube links that go to certain times to two different songs that I think sound alike.  Now keep in mind, when I say they sound alike, I don't mean the whole song, only certain parts of them.

So our first blog is going to be a part 1 of a two-parter (no pun intended) and the second blog is gonna be right after it, I will continue if and when I find good songs that sound alike and this blog gets enough views.

So first of all, I'd like to say that the reason why I'm doing a two-parter is because —both the intro (opening theme) and outro (closing theme) of Kyoryuger— sound like other songs, which became popular in the same four years.

So first we have the intro to Kyoryuger, Vamola! Kyoryuger by Showgo Kamada (2013) https://youtu.be/EOb7HzNeoik?t=18s, which sounds like the intro to The Love Boat, Love Boat by Jack Jones (1977) https://youtu.be/m_wFEB4Oxlo?t=52s.

Tell me what you think.  Do they sound similar to you?

PS: to clarify any confusion, was indeed released in 1977, not 1979, it was released as a single in 1979, but was completed by 1977, when it served as the intro for The Love Boat's first season, which aired that year.  That version (the Jack Jones version) was used in all of the seasons, except for —the final season, which ended in 1987,— which was sung by Dionne Warwick.

I fucking hate the open roads game

Ok, if you don't know what the open roads game is, here is the lowdown.  In 1992, a DOS game came out called, "SkyRoads," (that's free on the web right now) and it's a game that should be a cult classic at least and deserves an update with new levels and a level editor.  Long story short, it's a game that deserves more attention than it gets.  You need DOSBox, a DOS emulator to play it because it's so old, but that's not the bullshit part, it relates to the bullshit part though.

Here's the bullshit part, it's actually two bullshit parts, but they come together to form a repugnant turd sandwich.  The first bullshit part is that there are people who are computer literate enough to stream on PC, but can't perform the relatively simple (compared to setting up a stream on your computer) task of entering a file directory (IE. C:\example) into dosbox to start up the game.

Now the second bullshit part is that there's a flash remake on the internet called the Open Roads Game that —everyone who I request to play SkyRoads— plays instead of the original version, because they don't have to DOSBox, because obviously you have to be a rocket scientist to figure out how to use it.  Now the bullshit part about that isn't the fact that people would rather do that instead of using DOSBox, but rather the fact that that version sucks, the controls are way too sensitive and people play that game and assume that the original version has just as shitty controls, when it doesn't.

The original version had a steep difficulty curve, but it was never because of the way the controls work.